(Laughter) End of Interview in the Bar, & Bulimia, Borderline, Bras


I’ve been very poignantly aware

of every person that’s walked in,

every person that’s sat down,

if they were male or female,

if they were grown or if they were a child,

what was coming out of my mouth at the moment that they sat down.

You know there’s just a lot of things that are just inescapable about the emotional aspect of what

we’re talking about. But, um,

I feel free.

& that’s - I’ve continued to feel that way the whole time.

& so when I’d have a little moment of discomfort, I’d ask myself,

“So do you wanna stop?”

You know, while we’re talking. & I, I thought, you know,

“Hell no. Do I really care if someone is listening? Not really.”

(The clicking noise one makes like a click chirp to the side of the mouth, as in, Nope.)


& a lot of thoughts were going back to my mom, is she gonna ever hear this, & that’s the biggest

thing for this whole, like, over an hour now, that I’ve come back to every -

I’d love to know if there was a rhythmic


place in my mind

that was recurring

because there probably is somewhat of a rhythm to it!


but um, that’s been the loudest thing in my ear, is she gonna hear this one day?

&, you know I can say that though my heart quakes a little, if she does,

I can immediately think right after that:

Oh God I hope she finds some kind of freedom in it if she does.

& it’s OK that I’m a grown woman now,

& it’s good that I can be free.

So I don’t, I don’t -

I can move away from that discomfort quickly & that feels really good.

Because I don’t actually care what anybody here thinks.

But I care an awful lot what she thinks!


Still, still at 33! Um.

& it’s good to own my own freedom as a grown woman because that’s when I start to really find

my love for her, my ow- my mother, as her own grown woman.

Instead of this perpetual identity that she’s just my mother

‘cause she is also her own grown woman.

She is someone who also needs love & freedom as much as I do.


(light laughter)



(Oh that’s amazing)

(that’s, that’s incredible)

(I love that)



Yeah, I just want to say one more thing because as you said that I kind of like became aware of

something I did, right before we started,

& I don’t know what you were doing I think you were looking at your papers or something,

& you may’ve noticed,

but I didn’t realize until just now, really, how truly symbolic it was.

I was sitting here,

& I was thinking how hot I was,

& I was thinking how much I did not want

to have on my bra,

& so I took it off!


Before you even asked me any questions, I stuffed it in my purse.

& I thought, you know what, that feels good, I’ve never done that in public before,

(laughing delight)

and maybe next time, I’ll just leave without it even on


because it’s really a pain in my butt.

That was what led into the whole, questions & I think that that’s a really good, just, easy way

to say how I was feeling, like, I’m ready, I’m ready to take it off, I’m ready to say it. So.


And I’ve been so envious!


Thank you! I really really appreciate it. It was cool.

I can’t wait. It’s special no matter what it is.

Yeah. What are there two, like two takes, because one lasted about like thirty?