My uncle had the best cowboy boots and also emphysema. I asked him for his boots and he said no. I said look here old man you are not long for this world and he told me to fuck myself. I said you can’t take it with you and he said the hell I can’t and he put a codicil in his will that he was to be buried in those boots. I tried to bribe the kid at the funeral home but no dice. We buried him last Sunday and tonight I am going to Wal-Mart to buy a flashlight and a shovel and some of that hand sanitizer.

Inheritance - Amelia Spinney